These days I've been either hanging my head up high or just simply frowning in shame because of the relationships I've broken and the other ones I've created. Dammit, everything can't always end up positive, can it? In any case, I'm thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to be here, experiencing the ups and downs of the seikatsu, because it's really hard to sustain a lifestyle. Retrospectively (the last few months), in order to have a life here, you have to have money, you have to know a bit of the language, and you always, always have to keep up a strong appearance 'cause no one's going to pick you up when you're down.

And I'm fortunate to have the friends in my dormitory who give me valuable pieces of advice, saying that certain things aren't worth keeping and certain things should be treasured. It's really hard to keep these things all the time because great events indeed happen in a blur. I think that the best advice to give to myself is to watch what my actions are while having a good time. While I may feel a bit regretful of the stupid things I've done, it makes me realize that very slowly I can have the opportunity to mature, if I choose to. I'm the laid back person who ultimately wants to have a good time doing the things I love to do, namely, playing hockey, basketball, singing, and hanging out with people I could trust. There are certain times where I feel utterly depressed but I've figured that it takes me a day to get over it. And even though there are certain stains that are left from the mess that I've created, hindsight's always 20/20, and so I can simply leave it up to the Lord all the time to solve my problems.

Just like this song that I'm currently doing for the gospel choir at school. The Lord "keeps on looking out for me," and for that I'm grateful. And the only reason I'm depressed at times is because I can't realize that (at that certain moment). It's one of my weaknesses, to let my emotions control me. A friend told me that "we're works in progress," and, even though I'm going to need a hell of a lot work before I get out into the real world, I'm at least taking my mistakes a day at a time, no matter how horrible they turn out to be.

Well, what can I say, I've been undoubtedly busy. You can always count on me to say that every time I write. And that's because it's true. The hockey team and the choir take up my whole morning and afternoon and the only thing that completes that whole cycle is homework. I think that although the weekend comes up, I always have something to do, and it's crazy because I wish there would be a time or opportunity where I could just know where I'm going, just like when I was back at Ridgefield Park. All right, maybe I miss my home and the people I love, but that's not a justifiable reason for wanting to go back because experiencing what the world has to offer is good enough to remove myself from the ignorance I seemed to grow up with. I guess the time I left for Japan was the time that the Lord wanted to open my eyes so I could see what I could change in the future.

Yeah, that sounded kinda corny, but it's what a future United States President would think for his people, I'm sure.