I just want to say that life living here in Japan truly has its setbacks. One minute you're riding on the tallest waves, enjoying the view, and then the next minute you're being pummeled down by surfboards one after the other. I might as well tell you, because it's going to go public at any rate.

My host family and I are going through a rough patch, and I'm on the brink of moving out. And the truth is, I don't want to be. My philosophy is, "You only get one family." When I came to Japan, it was clear that I'd be living with another set of people with another set of rules; nonetheless, they became my "new family" starting from September. The "rough patch" revolves around me, my forgetfulness, my etiquette, and strictly speaking, my lack of vocabulary. I've only been here five months to know a few things to get me by, but I'm not as talented as you think (though some of you might have seen my myspace or facebook).

With that said, I really want to say. No matter how many times I get slapped on the wrist, my mom would say that people always forget, people always make mistakes. Even if they forget something after a minute's time. I want to make it better. I do. For all these times I lacked prayer, God, I ask you this extra favor; I know you have many things on your schedule, but I hope you could find it in your heart to make amends this situation. Little by little, I'm understand what living here is like and, even though I'll be going back to America in a few weeks, I want to live in a sensible manner. But when I head back to Japan,

I want to make good relationships with the people around me, including my host family. (if they accept me again)
I want to do well in my academics and the sports I play.
I want to have fun in everything I do.

But there's always that priority (see first enumeration). This is something I'm willing to do, even if I make painstaking efforts to do so. I'm a coward, that's easy to say. And I'm always afraid of others' reactions. But it's something I need to learn with stride. I've lived with my neocatechumenal community for nine years already, so why can't I accept these judgments like a man? Please, Lord, you've got to help me. Right now I'm a lost cause and it's all up to you to help me. I need you. I'm practically shaking as I type this; I hate it. I wish I wasn't in this predicament, but it wasn't brought by chance, that I can be sure of. I'm asking for your guidance . . . and patience . . . and wisdom, since I don't have any right now.

Those of you who are reading this, please pray for me.
There's nothing I would like more than the opportunity to stay here with the people I've grown comfortable to.